Well, my last post was very intense and deep so I thought we'd talk about something much more fun, exciting, and lighthearted today! Besides, after reading the last post and applying the principles to your life, you should be overflowing with true joy and should be ready to turn on that Christmas music, light a wonderful Christmas fragrance candle, put on the hot cocoa, and ready to "Dec (orate) The Halls!" :) Since we are just 9 magical days away from Christmas, you better get a move on! :)
We all love the lights and sounds of the season don't we? I know in our family, it's an exciting past-time to take evening strolls through the neighborhood and rides through the city to look at the lights! The tacky light tours are the most exciting and really create the oooh's and aaaah's from the kids. I think the "tacky light" tours are wonderful......on someone else's house! :) No offense intended at all! In fact, if your house is on the tacky light tour, you have earned my full respect because the time, effort, and electric bill behind all that does not allow me to walk in victory so I admire you! For the sake of sticking with my mission to teach my readers how to walk in victory in every area of life, I'm going to assume that there are other mother's out there like me who have limited time, need to stay on the family budget, & desire to create a warm, simple, elegance at Christmas in their homes and I KNOW there are husbands out there who will appreciate not being expected to spend days on a ladder stapling hundreds of strings of lights to outline every square inch of the house! :)
So, here are some design ideas that I have implemented in the Fox household during Christmas to help me walk in victory in the area of time management, money management, coming alongside my husband with lower expectations about how much climbing up and down the attic steps and ladder I'll need him to do with me, and just in creating that warm, cozy, elegant, & festive atmosphere that my family & guests enjoy being in.
For the exterior, years ago I purchased pine swags for each of my windows. They are always on sale this time of year in bins at craft stores like Michaels or Ben Franklin. It is even more elegant I think, and definitely very budget friendly if you have a pine tree in your yard and clip a swag for each window yourself! While there grabbing my window swags (on sale that I would get my money's worth from by using each year for the last 10 years) I purchased some beautiful, wide, wire ribbon. Choose something that won't go out of style or change when you change home decor or colors. So I chose a very traditional red, green, & gold plaid Christmas ribbon. Since that time, I have learned how to make my own bows, but back then I didn't know how to, so I took the ribbon to the bow making counter and for a small fee, the woman behind the counter made all my bows for me for each swag (and my door wreath) and I have used them every year since. In fact, to digress a bit, I had her make a gorgeous coordinating tree topper bow for the top of our Christmas tree with 4 ends that drape down the tree from top to bottom and it is absolutely outstanding!
While there, I also purchased 2 grape vine reindeer (a mama and a baby). Those poor reindeer have traveled all up and down the east coast with us over the last 10 years! In fact, I had 2 coordinating bows made for their necks to appear as bow ties and pull it all together! For the door, I purchased a pine wreath and another coordinating bow and hot glued some pine cones (that I picked up out of the yard) and some colored glass ball ornaments to it. That's it! That's the exterior of my home at Christmas! In fact, my husband has come up with a creative way to place the swags in the windows without even using a ladder or nailing nails into the windows! We now open the window from the inside, he lifts the screen while I push the pine swag through to the outside, we simultaneously pull a couple of branches to the inside of the window and close the window on the branch to hold in place! It's the engineer in him I guess and now you reap the benefits of that education we pay student loans for! :) The swags go in the window, I usually place an electric candle in each window for lighting, the wreath goes on the door, I place the mama and baby grape vine reindeer in the front of the home, usually in the front garden bed of hedges, place a spot light in the yard to illuminate the house, swags, door wreath, and reindeer and on a good year, I have sometimes placed a few strings of white lights on the hedges around the reindeer and that's it!! In homes where I have had a front rocking chair porch or entrance stair rails, I have draped a string of pine garland trimmed with white lights as well!
Other budget friendly ideas of simple elegance that I have experimented with are to wrap fairly large boxes with shiny gold, silver, red, or green wrapping paper, top with large fabric bows and place those on a covered front porch or "wrap" the front door with shiny gold, silver, red, or green wrapping paper with a large bow to make the door appear as a present as well! Keep it simple and be creative! With a spot light shining on the front of the house to illuminate any of the creations you come up with, you eliminate the time and high electric bill of strung lights framing the house and windows and it is much more elegant!
For the interior of the home, consider similar elements of nature. I love to use as a centerpiece on my dining table a pine swag down the center of the table, I place some pine cones and colored glass ball ornaments in the pine swag and in the center, I use a large glass hurricane vase, fill it a little more than 1/2 way with tap water, throw in a bag of fresh cranberries (from the produce section of the grocery store), and place an ivory or white smaller pillar candle or votive in the center of the cranberries (the water will help it "float"). We light the candle at dinnertime and it sparkles against the cranberries and water and it is spectacular! You do have to change the water about once a week (it will start to turn pink from the cranberries).
On our Christmas tree, you will find white lights, gold beads, the bow tree topper and a collection of home-made ornaments the kids have made over the years. An idea I keep meaning to incorporate each year is to string popcorn and cranberries with the kids and use that for garland! Just a touch of simple Christmas elegance and warmth through elements of nature is what you will find in each room of our home - more pine garland and white lights draped up the staircase and along the fireplace mantle, glass hurricanes and vases filled with glass Christmas ball ornaments, glass candle sticks with festive candles, baskets filled with pine cones, my nutcracker collection scattered about, and then there is one splurge - personalized Pottery Barn stockings hung by the chimney with care! Each year I look through my Pottery Barn magazines that are faithfully mailed to me all year long. I usually copy their decorating ideas cheaper using Target look-alikes! Shhhh...that's our secret! :) However, often something will catch my eye that I just HAVE to have! So of course, I ask my husband, he seldom tells me no :) and do you know why? Because not only do I have a wonderful husband that loves to please me and bless me with all of the desires of my heart, but more so because he trusts me with our budget! I don't take advantage. I'm respectful and appreciative of all of his hard work and the income he provides, I honor him and his paycheck and what he provides for us by taking extreme care with it and living frugally, so that when I do get the urge to splurge on something, he knows I am responsible with our money and not wasteful and if I have requested something, it must be special to me in some way. It just always works ladies! Honor your husbands, earn their trust, respect all they provide for you and your family, and it really does become a two way street of love and respect!
Anyway, with all of the money you will save applying the above Christmas decorating ideas, you will have a little Christmas decor nest egg for a few splurge items and because your husband will be so appreciative that you have not only saved him all that money but more importantly you didn't require him to spend hours of his life playing Chevy Chase, he will gladly say, "Sure, honey, go ahead and splurge on that desire of your heart!" :)
Are you ready to WALK IN VICTORY over decorating your home this Christmas?! :) Then go! Turn on the Christmas music, put on the hot cocoa, keep it simple, stay on budget and within your time limitations, allow the kids to join in and most importantly allow the true joy and spirit of Christmas to radiate in your home!
PS - If you're like me, you need color by number! :) I will try to walk in victory over uploading a few pics later today to inspire you to do it yourself! :)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Walking In Victory Over Experiencing True Joy This Christmas!
It's Christmas-time and it IS suppose to be "the most wonderful time of the year," just as the traditional Christmas song states! For so many, it can often be the most dreaded time of the year because it can be a time of year of sobering reminders where the focal point can be of loved ones we're missing, painful childhood memories, being alone and not having loved one's to spend Christmas with, and in these difficult economic times where so many are jobless or recovering from recent job loss or change in some way, it can be a painful awareness that there isn't an abundance of funds for gift giving. We can quickly become overwhelmed and discouraged by the growing "to do" list that seems to come along with this season of Christmas decorating, baking, shopping, wrapping, parties, traveling, church activities, etc. I am here to encourage you friends that YOU CAN WALK IN VICTORY and experience true joy during CHRISTMAS!!
Believe me, as many of you who have walked the journey called life faithfully at my side know (and those of you who don't personally know me since I have readers all over the country - in future posts I plan to share many of my life testimonies), I can personally and genuinely relate to years of not walking in victory and lacking joy at Christmas-time.
My parents are my biggest fans and supporters of my ministry and faithful readers of this blog ministry and both have released me and given me permission to share anything I would like to share for the greater purpose of using our life experiences to minister to another hurting human being! So that said, in encouraging someone who perhaps can relate, in a manner of also being sensitive to and protecting my parents' confidentiality, I will share.
As a child, there were seasons of plenty and of want. We were often in want and mom could often be found on Christmas Eve all hours of the night frantically buying our entire Christmas at the eleventh hour and often writing a check that could hopefully be covered by dad's paycheck that would come several days later. Christmas was often a turbulent season. Dad had grown up in a home where alcohol and abuse reigned. Add that to the tragedy he had experienced in losing his brother to a motorcycle accident, and Christmas was an extraordinarily difficult time of year for him. Funny in life how those things have a way of being passed down from generation to generation. But the buck stops there! No longer will we pass painful childhood experiences down to the next generation because together we are going to learn to walk in victory over this generational curse! Dad is ok with me sharing some of his story as part of my testimony because that was then and this is now and it is no longer what defines who he is or the nature of our relationship today! In the spirit of protecting his confidentiality, I don't feel it's necessary to share the details, but in a nutshell, Christmas-time as a child in our household many years could look strikingly reminiscent of dad's environment growing up. Not that it was like that every year. I also have wonderful Christmas memories as a child! We did the best with what we had and mom and dad tried the best they could.
I have a new appreciation now as a parent myself. Being a parent is the hardest job on earth, especially without proper training and guidance, there is no instruction manual, and combine that with what we contribute to the equation from our own life experiences of being parented and it is difficult. So to divert a little, if that describes your childhood, today is a defining moment in your life and can be a defining moment in your relationship with your parents. Be loosed and released to walk in victory and do the same for your parents. Loose them and release them from guilt and condemnation! Trust me, they know. They live with the painful memories of all of their failures on a daily basis. They don't need for us to carry it along with them. All of our children will likely be in therapy one day working through our not being "perfect" parents! :) Because it IS the hardest job on earth and one that doesn't come with a great deal of instruction other than what was modeled for us, I assure you, we will all mess up in the parenting arena! Isn't that good news?! :) The good news is that we're gonna talk alot about parenting through this ministry and you will have access to the instruction manual you need to walk in victory in parenting as well. For now, the first step is to release any childhood experiences (and release your parents as well) of all that causes you to walk defeated, have a toxic overflow into every area of your life including what you are passing down and modeling for your children or future children, and robbing you like a thief in the night of all of the joy and abudant life intended for you! Today is a new day and there are mercies new for you for today. Guess what? There will be fresh mercies tomorrow too! For that matter, we are promised that there will be new mercies each and every single day! So the good news is, you don't have to be anxious about tomorrow's worries. Rest assured, tomorrow will have enough worries of it's own! :) Live in the moment of each day, each hour, each minute, and receive the grace and mercy available to you moment by moment! With that promise, you CAN extend forgiveness, even if it isn't asked for! You CAN release painful memories and you CAN release your parents (or whoever it is) from condemnation! You CAN start over right now in this moment and redefine the nature of your relationships with your parents, your enemy's, and you CAN redefine how you will walk in victory and joy this Christmas forward and if you are a parent, how you will redefine this experience for your children and generations to come.
For some of you, this time of year can be a time of the extraordinary sting of grief. Oh precious friend, how I can personally relate to that gut wrenching pain like no other in more ways than one. Many of you know of the tragedy that struck a small town in upstate New York 16 years ago through our family. The type of tragedy that makes headline news on TV and newspapers, causes grief counselors to be deployed in the local school system, and a funeral reception line blocks if not miles long! I share those facts not to make the sting my family experienced seem any more significant that the grief many of you have experienced but to emphasize my friend that we WERE the family you would hear of on the news and say to yourself, "that's unspeakable, I cannot fathom" and if we can overcome, ANYONE, even YOU, can overcome, no matter how horrific the circumstances!
When the Amtrak train struck and killed my 19 year old brother 2 months prior to his high school graduation on April 28, 1994, Christmas joy was robbed like an unexpected thief in the night. No Christmas has ever been the same without my brother Greg as part of the family around the Christmas tree, especially for my mother and father. I’m here to tell you, it may not seem it now but you will come through to the other side and although life will never look the same, it will continue and you will be stronger for it. First of all, I want to release you to grieve. It’s ok, it’s fully expected and acceptable. Don't apologize for it, don't prevent it or hide it. It’s part of a process and to be honest, it can take a long time, often many years. And although, grief never fully loses it’s sting, it does become less intense in time. So give yourself the time necessary, take it one day at a time, never looking too far ahead or too far behind, receive the mercy and grace new for that day. In the process, the best medicine for grief is thankfulness. Consider all you have to be grateful for each day, be creative if necessary. We all have something. Reflect on one way that you can include your loved one in your continued traditions. Because you do need to continue. For the sake of other children, other family members, etc. Especially if they are being affected by the loss as well. It’s important that they feel some sense of normalcy and continuity in the uncertainty. And never allow the memory of the loved one who has gone before us to be in vain. They are worth carrying on their legacy! Find a tangible way to carry on their name! Even in hanging a special ornament on the tree in their honor. Celebrate their life, talk about their memory, share a funny story or fond memory that brings laughter and joy. Cry, laugh, love - it's good for and nourishment to the wounded soul!
Maybe you’re experiencing “grief” not from the standpoint of permanent loss, but temporary separation. Oh how I know that pain as well. When I lost cutody of my son (a statement that's difficult for the pride of a mother to state just as that without adding any further details but since this post is becoming long enough, I will have to swallow my pride and leave as that for now and I will eventually share the details of in the near future). For the sake of time now and to share just enough to link arms with you that I KNOW this pain, I was separated from my son for 8 long years, and as if Christmas were not already difficult enough due to all of the above circumstances, it went from being difficult to near unbearable. There were days, I literally wanted to die! A self induced coma that could just make me sleep through the pain of it and wake me when it was all over, would have been the preferable choice, but as far as I know, there is no such coping mechanism common to man to date. So I had to do what many of us have to do. We just have to feel the sting and pain of it and get through it the best we can. Friend, don't do that! Don't just survive the best you can! Friend, I know all too well, it was hard to put Zachary's home-made ornaments he had made me on the tree, to see his name on his stocking hung on the fireplace mantel and he wasn’t there, to "celebrate" all of our normal family traditions. There's a void in your heart, in the very depth of your soul that nothing can seem to replace and if that weren't enough, you almost guilt yourself for experiencing any sort of joy or celebration in their absence. Looking back now on the other side of this trial, I regret all of the years I did that! It was enough that I had lost 8 years, 8 Christmas' without my son, but worse yet, I lost 8 years with my husband and other 3 children in the process because I was just going through the motions, just surviving, and not walking in the fullness of joy with all that God did sovereignly allow me to have during those 8 years. I became consumed by the one thing He did not allow me to have (not that it wasn't an important thing to have - it was my child), but being consumed by the one thing I couldn't have robbed me of all of the abundant life He did allow me to have and what saddens me more to this day is how my focus on the one thing I couldn't have, robbed my husband and other 3 children of the abundant life they should have had with a wife and mother who barely smiled for 8 long years! So as I stated above, allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to miss em, carry on their memory and legacy, enjoy the fullness in all that you've been given, give your other family members the gift of stregnth, joy, continuity, model for them how to walk in joy and victory even in difficult circumstances, and stand in confidence and hope that even though it seems like a lifetime in the moment, in a very short time, you will be reunited with that loved one after a time of temporary seperation. Do something in a step of faith in action that will also bring joy. Place a Christmas gift or note, something tangible, in a box with that loved one's name on it. Over the years, that box will grow and one joyous day when you are reunited, you can present them with that box (or whatever it is you chose that is significant and has meaning to YOU)! Not only can you open together and reflect together, but it means so much to the loved one from which you were seperated to know that in every season, they were remembered, loved, and cherished with hope and joy and faith that one day you would be together again!
When you have done all you can do to stand friend, and still find it difficult to walk in victory, then you have to trust that you have done all you're called to do, and call on the ONE greater who is right there alongside you, who desires and promises to carry your burdens for you if you would chose to lay them at His feet. Our burdens are heavy but His yoke is light. Burdens such as these are best delegated to the One who will bear them in our place. If He bore and endured the pain of the cross in your place brother and sisters, how much more will He also bear and endure the pains of this world in your place? He who did not spare His one and only Son, but gave Him up, FOR YOU & ME, in our place, how much more will He also give for you? Do you even comprehend the power in that statement. My parents did not have an option in chosing to give up their son, niether did I (it became a choice I surrendered to but not my choice), but this ONE I speak of, CHOSE to crucify His one and only Son in your place. Ponder that for a moment. He loves you that much! Friends as a mother of 4 that are just absolutely precious to me, there is no way to articulate the love I have for them, when I digest the theory of what my personal Lord and Savior sacrificed for me, I cannot help but love Him back, desire to live for Him, and call upon Him to help me endure the pains of this world that I by myself cannot carry. There's no other formula to truly walk in victory over those unfathomables. I've tried many, none have "worked" for me. It is absolutely necessary if there is any hope of walking in victory and who wants to walk around in defeat?! It's not fun! It's far more "fun" to walk with HIM and in the fullness of life and victory! When there is no explanation to the unspeakables in life, we have to trust that we live in a fallen world in all of it's imperfection and consumed with sin and the error of man's ways, we have to trust that His ways are higher than our ways. My Pastor recently made this statement and it was substantial to me. Perhaps because in my limited intellect I need things to be very color by number! :) God has a bird's eye view unlike ours. If our lives were a parade, He sees beginning of parade from end and all floats in between. With our limited view, we only see the parts in our limited view. We see only as far as our human eye allows us to see. We have to trust God for all of the "floats" in between that we cannot see and trust that He knows the end of the parade. He promises not to give us more than we can bear. That's a tough concept for me quite honestly. There were days in all of the trials I have been through that felt like more than I could bear. I even told Him so - "God, this feels like more than I can bear, but you promised you wouldn't give me more than I can bear, you're not a liar, you're God, so I'm gonna have to trust that I can't rely on my feelings and what this "feels" like right now in this moment and trust that you're God and I'm not and you know what you're doing even if I would chose to have it done differently!" How many of you know that you can talk to Him just like that? This should be a best friend relationship and He desires for you to talk to Him just like He is your best friend. In the end, His Word promises that ALL THINGS (not just the easy things), ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love Him. What a profound statement. It releases us from needing to understand why or how or where or when or to what extent! All we need to do is trust that He promises that this horrific thing I'm going through will eventually work out for my good and for His greater purpose. Friends, what my family experienced with the tragedy of my brother's death has never "felt" good! I'm not gonna lie! I wish His purposes could have been accomplished a different way. But I'm not God, I don't hold the outcome of the entire world in the palm of my hands, I don't see the beginning of the parade from the end and all of the floats in between. I can tell you that as difficult as it has been, it has been for my good, for the good of all of those involved, and I can't even count the number of lives that have been changed by it and that will be in the future (there you go, my good and HIS greater purpose)! His word never returns void!
So I ask you, what are you gonna do with those hurts this Christmas season? Are you gonna walk in defeat or victory? What area of life, what hurt is defining you that you need to release and deligate onto his shoulders? He'll carry it, will you let Him? What part of your life is He trying to get into? He wants all of it. What part won't you surrender? Let me ask you this...why not? Is it really benefitting you to hold on to it? Is it truly bringing you so much joy and victory that you couldn't just - let it go? How does God wanna work IN you and THROUGH you and will you be a vessel, an instrument in His sovereign hands? How can you carry on that loved one's legacy with true joy in your heart? Joy unspeakable, unexplainable, the type that causes other's to question, "How does he/she get that? I want what they have!" I could go on and on. Haven't I proven that?! :) I'm not gonna apologize for it. This topic was just way too deep, way too important to be concerned about legnth or time. This keyboard is my instrument and all He requires that I do is put my fingers to it. He does the rest! I'm trusting whatever was spoken, was for a reason. Someone needed to know. Someone is getting ready to be unleashed to WALK IN VICTORY this Christmas!! If you have questions specific to your particular circumstances or a struggle you're just not walking in victory over or something I've said just doesn't make sense, I am more than happy to minister to you individually. Feel free to send me a comment or email and although I do not claim to be an expert, I can promise you that I will do my very best to walk alongside you - in victory!! Now go - you have a lot of work to do - it's time to re-invent Christmas joy!
Believe me, as many of you who have walked the journey called life faithfully at my side know (and those of you who don't personally know me since I have readers all over the country - in future posts I plan to share many of my life testimonies), I can personally and genuinely relate to years of not walking in victory and lacking joy at Christmas-time.
My parents are my biggest fans and supporters of my ministry and faithful readers of this blog ministry and both have released me and given me permission to share anything I would like to share for the greater purpose of using our life experiences to minister to another hurting human being! So that said, in encouraging someone who perhaps can relate, in a manner of also being sensitive to and protecting my parents' confidentiality, I will share.
As a child, there were seasons of plenty and of want. We were often in want and mom could often be found on Christmas Eve all hours of the night frantically buying our entire Christmas at the eleventh hour and often writing a check that could hopefully be covered by dad's paycheck that would come several days later. Christmas was often a turbulent season. Dad had grown up in a home where alcohol and abuse reigned. Add that to the tragedy he had experienced in losing his brother to a motorcycle accident, and Christmas was an extraordinarily difficult time of year for him. Funny in life how those things have a way of being passed down from generation to generation. But the buck stops there! No longer will we pass painful childhood experiences down to the next generation because together we are going to learn to walk in victory over this generational curse! Dad is ok with me sharing some of his story as part of my testimony because that was then and this is now and it is no longer what defines who he is or the nature of our relationship today! In the spirit of protecting his confidentiality, I don't feel it's necessary to share the details, but in a nutshell, Christmas-time as a child in our household many years could look strikingly reminiscent of dad's environment growing up. Not that it was like that every year. I also have wonderful Christmas memories as a child! We did the best with what we had and mom and dad tried the best they could.
I have a new appreciation now as a parent myself. Being a parent is the hardest job on earth, especially without proper training and guidance, there is no instruction manual, and combine that with what we contribute to the equation from our own life experiences of being parented and it is difficult. So to divert a little, if that describes your childhood, today is a defining moment in your life and can be a defining moment in your relationship with your parents. Be loosed and released to walk in victory and do the same for your parents. Loose them and release them from guilt and condemnation! Trust me, they know. They live with the painful memories of all of their failures on a daily basis. They don't need for us to carry it along with them. All of our children will likely be in therapy one day working through our not being "perfect" parents! :) Because it IS the hardest job on earth and one that doesn't come with a great deal of instruction other than what was modeled for us, I assure you, we will all mess up in the parenting arena! Isn't that good news?! :) The good news is that we're gonna talk alot about parenting through this ministry and you will have access to the instruction manual you need to walk in victory in parenting as well. For now, the first step is to release any childhood experiences (and release your parents as well) of all that causes you to walk defeated, have a toxic overflow into every area of your life including what you are passing down and modeling for your children or future children, and robbing you like a thief in the night of all of the joy and abudant life intended for you! Today is a new day and there are mercies new for you for today. Guess what? There will be fresh mercies tomorrow too! For that matter, we are promised that there will be new mercies each and every single day! So the good news is, you don't have to be anxious about tomorrow's worries. Rest assured, tomorrow will have enough worries of it's own! :) Live in the moment of each day, each hour, each minute, and receive the grace and mercy available to you moment by moment! With that promise, you CAN extend forgiveness, even if it isn't asked for! You CAN release painful memories and you CAN release your parents (or whoever it is) from condemnation! You CAN start over right now in this moment and redefine the nature of your relationships with your parents, your enemy's, and you CAN redefine how you will walk in victory and joy this Christmas forward and if you are a parent, how you will redefine this experience for your children and generations to come.
For some of you, this time of year can be a time of the extraordinary sting of grief. Oh precious friend, how I can personally relate to that gut wrenching pain like no other in more ways than one. Many of you know of the tragedy that struck a small town in upstate New York 16 years ago through our family. The type of tragedy that makes headline news on TV and newspapers, causes grief counselors to be deployed in the local school system, and a funeral reception line blocks if not miles long! I share those facts not to make the sting my family experienced seem any more significant that the grief many of you have experienced but to emphasize my friend that we WERE the family you would hear of on the news and say to yourself, "that's unspeakable, I cannot fathom" and if we can overcome, ANYONE, even YOU, can overcome, no matter how horrific the circumstances!
When the Amtrak train struck and killed my 19 year old brother 2 months prior to his high school graduation on April 28, 1994, Christmas joy was robbed like an unexpected thief in the night. No Christmas has ever been the same without my brother Greg as part of the family around the Christmas tree, especially for my mother and father. I’m here to tell you, it may not seem it now but you will come through to the other side and although life will never look the same, it will continue and you will be stronger for it. First of all, I want to release you to grieve. It’s ok, it’s fully expected and acceptable. Don't apologize for it, don't prevent it or hide it. It’s part of a process and to be honest, it can take a long time, often many years. And although, grief never fully loses it’s sting, it does become less intense in time. So give yourself the time necessary, take it one day at a time, never looking too far ahead or too far behind, receive the mercy and grace new for that day. In the process, the best medicine for grief is thankfulness. Consider all you have to be grateful for each day, be creative if necessary. We all have something. Reflect on one way that you can include your loved one in your continued traditions. Because you do need to continue. For the sake of other children, other family members, etc. Especially if they are being affected by the loss as well. It’s important that they feel some sense of normalcy and continuity in the uncertainty. And never allow the memory of the loved one who has gone before us to be in vain. They are worth carrying on their legacy! Find a tangible way to carry on their name! Even in hanging a special ornament on the tree in their honor. Celebrate their life, talk about their memory, share a funny story or fond memory that brings laughter and joy. Cry, laugh, love - it's good for and nourishment to the wounded soul!
Maybe you’re experiencing “grief” not from the standpoint of permanent loss, but temporary separation. Oh how I know that pain as well. When I lost cutody of my son (a statement that's difficult for the pride of a mother to state just as that without adding any further details but since this post is becoming long enough, I will have to swallow my pride and leave as that for now and I will eventually share the details of in the near future). For the sake of time now and to share just enough to link arms with you that I KNOW this pain, I was separated from my son for 8 long years, and as if Christmas were not already difficult enough due to all of the above circumstances, it went from being difficult to near unbearable. There were days, I literally wanted to die! A self induced coma that could just make me sleep through the pain of it and wake me when it was all over, would have been the preferable choice, but as far as I know, there is no such coping mechanism common to man to date. So I had to do what many of us have to do. We just have to feel the sting and pain of it and get through it the best we can. Friend, don't do that! Don't just survive the best you can! Friend, I know all too well, it was hard to put Zachary's home-made ornaments he had made me on the tree, to see his name on his stocking hung on the fireplace mantel and he wasn’t there, to "celebrate" all of our normal family traditions. There's a void in your heart, in the very depth of your soul that nothing can seem to replace and if that weren't enough, you almost guilt yourself for experiencing any sort of joy or celebration in their absence. Looking back now on the other side of this trial, I regret all of the years I did that! It was enough that I had lost 8 years, 8 Christmas' without my son, but worse yet, I lost 8 years with my husband and other 3 children in the process because I was just going through the motions, just surviving, and not walking in the fullness of joy with all that God did sovereignly allow me to have during those 8 years. I became consumed by the one thing He did not allow me to have (not that it wasn't an important thing to have - it was my child), but being consumed by the one thing I couldn't have robbed me of all of the abundant life He did allow me to have and what saddens me more to this day is how my focus on the one thing I couldn't have, robbed my husband and other 3 children of the abundant life they should have had with a wife and mother who barely smiled for 8 long years! So as I stated above, allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to miss em, carry on their memory and legacy, enjoy the fullness in all that you've been given, give your other family members the gift of stregnth, joy, continuity, model for them how to walk in joy and victory even in difficult circumstances, and stand in confidence and hope that even though it seems like a lifetime in the moment, in a very short time, you will be reunited with that loved one after a time of temporary seperation. Do something in a step of faith in action that will also bring joy. Place a Christmas gift or note, something tangible, in a box with that loved one's name on it. Over the years, that box will grow and one joyous day when you are reunited, you can present them with that box (or whatever it is you chose that is significant and has meaning to YOU)! Not only can you open together and reflect together, but it means so much to the loved one from which you were seperated to know that in every season, they were remembered, loved, and cherished with hope and joy and faith that one day you would be together again!
When you have done all you can do to stand friend, and still find it difficult to walk in victory, then you have to trust that you have done all you're called to do, and call on the ONE greater who is right there alongside you, who desires and promises to carry your burdens for you if you would chose to lay them at His feet. Our burdens are heavy but His yoke is light. Burdens such as these are best delegated to the One who will bear them in our place. If He bore and endured the pain of the cross in your place brother and sisters, how much more will He also bear and endure the pains of this world in your place? He who did not spare His one and only Son, but gave Him up, FOR YOU & ME, in our place, how much more will He also give for you? Do you even comprehend the power in that statement. My parents did not have an option in chosing to give up their son, niether did I (it became a choice I surrendered to but not my choice), but this ONE I speak of, CHOSE to crucify His one and only Son in your place. Ponder that for a moment. He loves you that much! Friends as a mother of 4 that are just absolutely precious to me, there is no way to articulate the love I have for them, when I digest the theory of what my personal Lord and Savior sacrificed for me, I cannot help but love Him back, desire to live for Him, and call upon Him to help me endure the pains of this world that I by myself cannot carry. There's no other formula to truly walk in victory over those unfathomables. I've tried many, none have "worked" for me. It is absolutely necessary if there is any hope of walking in victory and who wants to walk around in defeat?! It's not fun! It's far more "fun" to walk with HIM and in the fullness of life and victory! When there is no explanation to the unspeakables in life, we have to trust that we live in a fallen world in all of it's imperfection and consumed with sin and the error of man's ways, we have to trust that His ways are higher than our ways. My Pastor recently made this statement and it was substantial to me. Perhaps because in my limited intellect I need things to be very color by number! :) God has a bird's eye view unlike ours. If our lives were a parade, He sees beginning of parade from end and all floats in between. With our limited view, we only see the parts in our limited view. We see only as far as our human eye allows us to see. We have to trust God for all of the "floats" in between that we cannot see and trust that He knows the end of the parade. He promises not to give us more than we can bear. That's a tough concept for me quite honestly. There were days in all of the trials I have been through that felt like more than I could bear. I even told Him so - "God, this feels like more than I can bear, but you promised you wouldn't give me more than I can bear, you're not a liar, you're God, so I'm gonna have to trust that I can't rely on my feelings and what this "feels" like right now in this moment and trust that you're God and I'm not and you know what you're doing even if I would chose to have it done differently!" How many of you know that you can talk to Him just like that? This should be a best friend relationship and He desires for you to talk to Him just like He is your best friend. In the end, His Word promises that ALL THINGS (not just the easy things), ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who love Him. What a profound statement. It releases us from needing to understand why or how or where or when or to what extent! All we need to do is trust that He promises that this horrific thing I'm going through will eventually work out for my good and for His greater purpose. Friends, what my family experienced with the tragedy of my brother's death has never "felt" good! I'm not gonna lie! I wish His purposes could have been accomplished a different way. But I'm not God, I don't hold the outcome of the entire world in the palm of my hands, I don't see the beginning of the parade from the end and all of the floats in between. I can tell you that as difficult as it has been, it has been for my good, for the good of all of those involved, and I can't even count the number of lives that have been changed by it and that will be in the future (there you go, my good and HIS greater purpose)! His word never returns void!
So I ask you, what are you gonna do with those hurts this Christmas season? Are you gonna walk in defeat or victory? What area of life, what hurt is defining you that you need to release and deligate onto his shoulders? He'll carry it, will you let Him? What part of your life is He trying to get into? He wants all of it. What part won't you surrender? Let me ask you this...why not? Is it really benefitting you to hold on to it? Is it truly bringing you so much joy and victory that you couldn't just - let it go? How does God wanna work IN you and THROUGH you and will you be a vessel, an instrument in His sovereign hands? How can you carry on that loved one's legacy with true joy in your heart? Joy unspeakable, unexplainable, the type that causes other's to question, "How does he/she get that? I want what they have!" I could go on and on. Haven't I proven that?! :) I'm not gonna apologize for it. This topic was just way too deep, way too important to be concerned about legnth or time. This keyboard is my instrument and all He requires that I do is put my fingers to it. He does the rest! I'm trusting whatever was spoken, was for a reason. Someone needed to know. Someone is getting ready to be unleashed to WALK IN VICTORY this Christmas!! If you have questions specific to your particular circumstances or a struggle you're just not walking in victory over or something I've said just doesn't make sense, I am more than happy to minister to you individually. Feel free to send me a comment or email and although I do not claim to be an expert, I can promise you that I will do my very best to walk alongside you - in victory!! Now go - you have a lot of work to do - it's time to re-invent Christmas joy!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Walking In Victory Over The 12 Days Til Christmas!
Are you ready to kick off the series "Walking In Victory Over The 12 Days Til Christmas" together? Christmas is suppose to be the most wonderful time of the year! Sadly, it can often become the most dreaded time of year! The added stress of adding Christmas decorating, Christmas parties, Christmas baking, Christmas shopping, etc., to our already busy schedules, the financial stress that each of those things create, the sobering reminders of painful childhood memories at this time of year, loved one's gone before us that make it difficult to feel like celebrating, and life circumstances and trials we have been walking through that can seem to overwhelm us during this time of year! Friends, I can relate and have walked through each and every single one of those mentioned things personally. I have struggled, I have walked in defeat this time of year and I have a burden on my heart to share with you the lessons I have personally learned! Together, we're going to walk in victory over each and every one of those mentioned areas over the next 12 days til Christmas from overcoming deep pains and walking forth in joy this Christmas to walking in victory in the areas of the growing Christmas "to do" list, how decorate your home for Christmas by adding in elements of elegance and nature without breaking the budget, creative, budget friendly gift ideas you can make at home while you create wonderful Christmas memories together with your children, what to wear to that Christmas party, hair and make-up do's and don'ts for the season, Christmas recipes to make your baking and Christmas dinner brighter, surviving those family get-togethers, getting back to the family, tradition, and the true meaning of Christmas, and much, much more!! Don't miss a single day with me over the next 12 days and pass along to everyone you care about (and tell them to do the same) and let's re-invent and get back to what Christmas is all about as we all journey together and WALK IN VICTORY THIS CHRISTMAS!!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Dramatically Transform Any Room In Your Home on Any Budget!
Dramatically transform any room in your home on any budget and dramatically change any space for nothing with this one tecnique - rearrange the furniture!! The following are some fool proof tips for Walking In Victory over transforming a room for nothing in rearranging your furniture!
(1) Don't hold your furniture under "arrest!" You know what I mean right? So envision this concept that we're all guilty of. We hold all of the furniture under arrest, hands behind head and all backed up against the walls! :) Set that sofa and occassional chair free to walk in victory over creating a wonderful conversational area.
(2) Once you have adopted this concept, decide what will be the focal point of your room, in other words the one area of the room that you desire to have to be the first thing people notice when they walk in the room.
(3) Once you have determined the focal point of the room, arrange your furniture around that focal point. So for example, in a Living Room, if a fireplace, window, piece of artwork, etc., were determined to be the focal point of that room, your sofa, chairs, coffee table, side tables, etc., should be arranged around that focal point. You could place your sofa across from and facing the fireplace for example and it would be perfectly acceptable and preferred to place that sofa right in the center of the room, rather than against the wall, if your space allows for such arrangement. In a bedroom, your bed is often the focal point of the room, so place the bed typically on the side of the room opposite the entrance of the room so that when you walk in, it is the first thing you notice. Then use beautiful bed coverings, throws, accent pillows, etc., to set the tone for the bedroom with your bed as the focal point. In a Dining Room, typically your Dining Table would be the focal point & should be centered in the room, usually under the lighting fixture or chandelier.
(4) Once your focal point has been determined and the largest pieces of furniture have been placed either as the focal point or around the focal point, use other pieces of furniture in groupings to create a functional space. So in a Living Room, as I stated above, if you have placed your sofa across from and facing a fireplace, create a conversational area by adding a grouping of occassional chairs. If your sofa is casual, then consider a grouping of formal occassional chairs to add charm. They do not necessarily need to be a matching "lounge" type chair. Consider formal dining chairs (purchased at a flea market or thrift store - paint them, re-upholster the seat w/an accent color or print you would like incoorporated into the room, add an accent pillow, etc.) and place them either together (side by side) at the end of the sofa facing inward (toward the coffee table) or one at each end of the sofa (again facing inward). For a bedroom, adding a side table next to the bed creates a functional grouping. It doesn't have to be a matching night table. Be creative as your space allows. It can be any side table (typically the same height or slightly lower than the bed). It can be a bookcase to allow for double duty as a bedside table and storage. In a Dining Room, the dining chairs would be the pieces added to the focal point (the table).
(5) Then add your accent pieces. So for the Living Room, you could add a coffee table placed in the center of the sofa and occassional chairs and a side table either on one end or each end of the sofa. An accent rug placed in the center under the coffee table can add color and pattern to the room. Accent lamps can pull in the color scheme of the room as well and should be placed on the side tables at each end of the sofa. For the Bedroom, add a lamp to the bedside table (or whatever you have chosen to use as this function) and consider an accent rug centered in the room, under the bed or for a smaller accent rug, centered in front of the bed. In the Dining Room, place your accent pieces such as a hutch, buffet, round table w/lamp or framed photos, etc., whatever you have in the room as accent pieces.
(6) For the decor in each room, decide on a color or pattern scheme and keep it clean and simple. Nik Naks and clutter are out and do not create the warm, welcoming, cozy, peaceful, harmonious, scerene setting we're going for. So clean out, and in future posts, I'll teach you how to de-clutter and what to do with those items, as well as teach you some storage and organizational options. For now, consider boxing them all up and placing in a storage area (basement, garage, attic) for future sorting through, and just add accent decor such as lamps, vases, pottery, candles, books, frames, etc. Wall mirrors can add depth, size, and light to any space. I have even created beautiful groupings on the walls with decorative plates and plate hangers. I'll teach that in a future post as well.
For now, go box up all your clutter, re-arrange your furniture, add a few accent pieces back in and dramatically transform a scerene, functional space in your home, that you, your family, and your guests LOVE to be in for absolutely FREE! I did exactly this in my teenage daughter's "basement suite" yesterday, it did not cost a dime, and we dramatically recreated her space! I'll include pictures later to inspire you! Since everything I did yesterday cost me nothing, I may "splurge" today and buy a few cheap materials to make home-made lampshades to really spice up the space! I'll teach you how to make all kinds of lampshades in the future as well. You can do it! Go start re-arranging the furniture using these tips and WALK IN VICTORY over creating the space you and your family love and create memories on an austerity budget!!
(1) Don't hold your furniture under "arrest!" You know what I mean right? So envision this concept that we're all guilty of. We hold all of the furniture under arrest, hands behind head and all backed up against the walls! :) Set that sofa and occassional chair free to walk in victory over creating a wonderful conversational area.
(2) Once you have adopted this concept, decide what will be the focal point of your room, in other words the one area of the room that you desire to have to be the first thing people notice when they walk in the room.
(3) Once you have determined the focal point of the room, arrange your furniture around that focal point. So for example, in a Living Room, if a fireplace, window, piece of artwork, etc., were determined to be the focal point of that room, your sofa, chairs, coffee table, side tables, etc., should be arranged around that focal point. You could place your sofa across from and facing the fireplace for example and it would be perfectly acceptable and preferred to place that sofa right in the center of the room, rather than against the wall, if your space allows for such arrangement. In a bedroom, your bed is often the focal point of the room, so place the bed typically on the side of the room opposite the entrance of the room so that when you walk in, it is the first thing you notice. Then use beautiful bed coverings, throws, accent pillows, etc., to set the tone for the bedroom with your bed as the focal point. In a Dining Room, typically your Dining Table would be the focal point & should be centered in the room, usually under the lighting fixture or chandelier.
(4) Once your focal point has been determined and the largest pieces of furniture have been placed either as the focal point or around the focal point, use other pieces of furniture in groupings to create a functional space. So in a Living Room, as I stated above, if you have placed your sofa across from and facing a fireplace, create a conversational area by adding a grouping of occassional chairs. If your sofa is casual, then consider a grouping of formal occassional chairs to add charm. They do not necessarily need to be a matching "lounge" type chair. Consider formal dining chairs (purchased at a flea market or thrift store - paint them, re-upholster the seat w/an accent color or print you would like incoorporated into the room, add an accent pillow, etc.) and place them either together (side by side) at the end of the sofa facing inward (toward the coffee table) or one at each end of the sofa (again facing inward). For a bedroom, adding a side table next to the bed creates a functional grouping. It doesn't have to be a matching night table. Be creative as your space allows. It can be any side table (typically the same height or slightly lower than the bed). It can be a bookcase to allow for double duty as a bedside table and storage. In a Dining Room, the dining chairs would be the pieces added to the focal point (the table).
(5) Then add your accent pieces. So for the Living Room, you could add a coffee table placed in the center of the sofa and occassional chairs and a side table either on one end or each end of the sofa. An accent rug placed in the center under the coffee table can add color and pattern to the room. Accent lamps can pull in the color scheme of the room as well and should be placed on the side tables at each end of the sofa. For the Bedroom, add a lamp to the bedside table (or whatever you have chosen to use as this function) and consider an accent rug centered in the room, under the bed or for a smaller accent rug, centered in front of the bed. In the Dining Room, place your accent pieces such as a hutch, buffet, round table w/lamp or framed photos, etc., whatever you have in the room as accent pieces.
(6) For the decor in each room, decide on a color or pattern scheme and keep it clean and simple. Nik Naks and clutter are out and do not create the warm, welcoming, cozy, peaceful, harmonious, scerene setting we're going for. So clean out, and in future posts, I'll teach you how to de-clutter and what to do with those items, as well as teach you some storage and organizational options. For now, consider boxing them all up and placing in a storage area (basement, garage, attic) for future sorting through, and just add accent decor such as lamps, vases, pottery, candles, books, frames, etc. Wall mirrors can add depth, size, and light to any space. I have even created beautiful groupings on the walls with decorative plates and plate hangers. I'll teach that in a future post as well.
For now, go box up all your clutter, re-arrange your furniture, add a few accent pieces back in and dramatically transform a scerene, functional space in your home, that you, your family, and your guests LOVE to be in for absolutely FREE! I did exactly this in my teenage daughter's "basement suite" yesterday, it did not cost a dime, and we dramatically recreated her space! I'll include pictures later to inspire you! Since everything I did yesterday cost me nothing, I may "splurge" today and buy a few cheap materials to make home-made lampshades to really spice up the space! I'll teach you how to make all kinds of lampshades in the future as well. You can do it! Go start re-arranging the furniture using these tips and WALK IN VICTORY over creating the space you and your family love and create memories on an austerity budget!!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Walking in Victory over Home Decorating on Any Budget!
One thing I LOVE to do is decorate! Decorate anything! My home, the pages of my scrapbooks, my person w/fun makeup, clothing, & hair styles, etc. Growing up on the poor side, learning to live on one income to allow me to be a full time mom, and surviving life circumstances that can quickly drain an entire lifetime of nest egg and savings from custody battles to job losses and relocations, to living in a DC suburb where despite a solid income, you scrape by because of the cost of living :) I have learned how to be who I am and do what I love to do (decorate anything), in plenty and in want. In other words, on ANY budget!
Women are instinctively very attatched to our homes. From my perspective, life in this world is crazy enough, we are bombarded by so much but the home should be a place of peace, order, & harmony, a safe haven, a comfortable place to be, a place our husband's and children not only look forward to coming home to, but desire to be. Our homes should be a place of safety & rest, a place where we create wonderful memories, a place where hospitality is offered and anyone feels welcome!
If we look at it from the perspective of God has blessed me with this wonderful gift of a home (whether you own, rent, or are a room mate, whether it's your dream home or a fixer upper, wherever it is that you call home). What are we going to do with this gift our heavenly father has provided? From that perspective, our homes are gifts from God, we should do much with what we have been given. We have to be trusted with what we are given in order to be trusted with more. Not that we should have another motive or ever become too attatched to any material possession. I hope you hear my heart here, like any area of life, it's about balance. Appreciating and caring for what you've been given, using your gifts for a greater purpose, but always keeping an eternal perspective of where your true treasure is. I hope that makes sense.
So, when I "Walk In Victory" over getting this blog set up with topics, :) there will hopefully be a topic of Walking In Victory over finances & decorating where I will often update a new and exciting and budget friendly decorating tip for all different occassions. For now, you will often find HGTV, Food Network, or Contemporary Christian music on in the background of my home at any given time of day and yesterday in having a decorating show on in the background as I went about my daily work, I wrote down these ideas and wanted to share them with you! So I'm going to end this post and publish several ideas on how YOU can WALK IN VICTORY OVER HOME DECORATING ON ANY BUDGET in seperate posts for easier future reference for my readers! Stay tuned and go make your home a place where your entire family can walk in victory regardless of your decorating giftings or budget limitations!
Women are instinctively very attatched to our homes. From my perspective, life in this world is crazy enough, we are bombarded by so much but the home should be a place of peace, order, & harmony, a safe haven, a comfortable place to be, a place our husband's and children not only look forward to coming home to, but desire to be. Our homes should be a place of safety & rest, a place where we create wonderful memories, a place where hospitality is offered and anyone feels welcome!
If we look at it from the perspective of God has blessed me with this wonderful gift of a home (whether you own, rent, or are a room mate, whether it's your dream home or a fixer upper, wherever it is that you call home). What are we going to do with this gift our heavenly father has provided? From that perspective, our homes are gifts from God, we should do much with what we have been given. We have to be trusted with what we are given in order to be trusted with more. Not that we should have another motive or ever become too attatched to any material possession. I hope you hear my heart here, like any area of life, it's about balance. Appreciating and caring for what you've been given, using your gifts for a greater purpose, but always keeping an eternal perspective of where your true treasure is. I hope that makes sense.
So, when I "Walk In Victory" over getting this blog set up with topics, :) there will hopefully be a topic of Walking In Victory over finances & decorating where I will often update a new and exciting and budget friendly decorating tip for all different occassions. For now, you will often find HGTV, Food Network, or Contemporary Christian music on in the background of my home at any given time of day and yesterday in having a decorating show on in the background as I went about my daily work, I wrote down these ideas and wanted to share them with you! So I'm going to end this post and publish several ideas on how YOU can WALK IN VICTORY OVER HOME DECORATING ON ANY BUDGET in seperate posts for easier future reference for my readers! Stay tuned and go make your home a place where your entire family can walk in victory regardless of your decorating giftings or budget limitations!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Walking In Victory Over My Walking In Victory Blog!
Many have asked why I am no longer posting on my Walking In Victory Blog. Well, the truth of the matter is that I have not been "walking in victory" over my Walking In Victory Blog! :) Although it has been said that I may possibly have a gift of ministering to others through writing, it has NOT been prophesied by any stretch of the imagination that I have been given a gift of computer literacy or time management! Additionally, to be quite transparent, I have not been "walking in victory" over fear. It's been over a month ago that I launched this ministry and it's been about precisely that long since I have done much more than that - launched it!
As I began the set-up phase of this very much a work in progress blog, I decided that I wanted to have categories of topics that I would like to address and categorize each post under a life applicable topic for the benefit of my readers so that in the future, if one was looking for insight on a particular life topic, they could just click on that topic for specific related postings. I was having difficulty figuring out how to create those categories on this blog site, so after some research, I decided that perhaps I should set up a blog using a different reputable blog site. So I set up a new blog using a new site and was excited that I could figure out pretty easily how to categorize on this site, however after doing precisely just that and clicking 1 wrong option, I soon enough had that all messed up as well! :) I even employed the help of my teenage daughter who is pretty crafty with this sneaky little machine, however the 2 of us together messed the set up phase up to the point of no return! :) So, plan B - I called on my wonderful husband who agreed to sit with me one day in all of his spare time these days with a complex work project he is currently managing, however it doesn't seem that there is ever a good time to assign this task to him these days.
Then there's time management. I KNOW I am not the only mother on the face of planet Earth that cannot seemingly manage the never ending "to do" list in keeping up with being not only ordinary, but excelling in my jobs as wife, mother, teacher to my homeschooled children, volunteer in the class of my public school educated child, chef, maid, chauffuer, nurse, EMT, financial planner, veternarian, interior decorator, church ministries, personal ministries, author, etc. - I'm sure most of you can relate! As I have prayed about just HOW I would squeeze something else like a ministry into my already overscheduled life, I really felt like God told me that I could only "be a slave to so many masters" and that some things had to be laid down and that if I just set my alarm for 1 hr earlier each morning, He would give me that time to use for ministry. Both, concepts I have not "walked in victory" over! I have had great difficulty in laying down the things He has called me to lay down. Can anyone relate to how He calls you to lay down something (or to do something), you start to move forward in that direction, and then the enemy creeps in, in the form of doubt & fear, life circumstances begin to get in the way (or confirm the doubts), and before you even realize that you have fallen victim to this prey, a calling on your life has unraveled.
Well, and then there is the enemy of time management! I'm convinced that's what it is! There's never enough of it - time to manage! I've been pretty faithful to set my alarm an hour earlier each morning (most of the time), but the problem is that I have to actually get out of bed when it goes off! To my credit, 5:30 am is early, is it not?! Especially, when I have just gotten through most of the previous day's to do list and gone to bed at midnight the night before.
Then there is fear. How many of you know that anytime you are working for the Lord, in ANY area of ministry, (and by that I mean those of us actually called to ministry right down to the ministry of motherhood), that there is a bull's eye on the center or your back and you become the target of attack by a very real enemy who exists to seek, kill, and destroy any area that may minister to, encourage, or teach anyone how to "walk in victory" in precisely the areas of life he would have you to be a failure? He attacks the ministry (whatever it may be) and he attacks any area of life that would distract you from going forward, and begins to use the battle of your own heart and mind to instill fear and doubt until he has succeeded in putting the brakes on all that could have been accomplished if you had put on your armor and engaged in the battle and gone forward as called!
The anadote to these mentioned "set-backs?" And I am ministering to myself as much as I am to my readers. In whatever you have been called to in life, keep on keeping on! There's is no magical formulation. You have to just do it! Go forth! Keep being faithful! Even in my case of not succeeding in the set up of a blog (when the calling is...set up a blog), the solution is to just keep being faithful to write - daily! It doesn't matter if the blog site is "perfect" or if there isn't time on a particular day to write a full page. Write anyway. God will send wisdom or someone who can help me take the blog forward in the way He desires it to be set up and if I write one sentence or one page depending on the time I have on any given day or what's on my heart on any given day, if it's one word, that one word is intended to minister to someone! Think about it and ask yourself the same question in whatever manner it applies to you. Am I going to hinder what one word may speak into the life of one of God's children today because my categories aren't set up perfectly or because I don't have something more colorful and flowery to say today other than one word?! What is the one area of life you are being called to be faithful in and what is the one small hinderance that is limiting the very hands of God? How can you take one small step of faithfulness daily to unleash all that God has to be accomplished through your instrument?
In the area of time management...this is one category I will definitely focus on alot in this ministry (and when I get that category up and running, it will be so much easier for you the reader to say, "I need encouragement and wisdom in the area of time management. Oh, there it is, let me just click on that little time management category so I can begin to walk in victory in this area of my life!") Until then, however, how must I proceed? Just as I just mentioned above. I must continue to press on and be faithful regardless to share on time management regardless of where it may be found on my blog site! For now, let me encourage you to review your daily schedule with these priorities in place. God first, husband 2nd, children 3rd, ministry or career next (and yes, being a full time homemaker IS absolutely a career!) Now ask yourself, what slave(s) have I made master(s) in my life that are interfering in how I manage these priorities in my life? Does something need to be laid down? Is it ok to say, "No" to any area of life that God is not calling me to make a priority in this season? It doesn't necessarily mean, ever! It may very well be just for a season! And believe it or not, seasons come and seasons go. They are not "life sentences!" In this particular season, I am being called to focus on my husband and children and all of the areas of life that go along with being focused on those 2 priorities. Those are my 2 primary "ministries." This Walking in Victory Ministry is another area I am being called to in this season. So with those 3 areas at the forefront, what needs to be laid down to make those 3 areas my focus? With your focus in mind, it's much easier to say "no" to the things that would distract you from your mission in a particular season with joy and freedom rather than guilt and condemnation! Once you have determined these priorities, now ask God to show you how to arrange your schedule accordingly and ask him to show you where there may be small nuggets of time to do just what I suggested above - be faithful!
Good ole' faithful friend fear?! Well, you have GOT to go! You MUST flee! You are NOT welcome here! Consider yourself hereby, rebuked!! As crazy as that seems, it is necessary. You have to stand against the schemes of the devil! You literally have to put on your armor, engage in the battle and fight back! Definitely will be a future category and of great discussion on this blog because this is perhaps our biggest target to be conquered in the battle of Walking In Victory in ANY area of life!
For now, it's time to get the kids ready for school and it's my turn to volunteer in Belle's class in a short while so in keeping in line with my advice on priorities, time to switch gears! Likewise, it's time for you to do the same thing! So go put on your big girl (or big boy) panties and fulfill your callings in life today and ask God to help you to not be perfect but to just be faithful. Ask him to show you areas where you need to re-prioritize and what you need to say "no" to, to show you creative nuggets of time, and then friend, put your armor on and engage in the battle and fight, fight, fight and WALK IN VICTORY!!!
As I began the set-up phase of this very much a work in progress blog, I decided that I wanted to have categories of topics that I would like to address and categorize each post under a life applicable topic for the benefit of my readers so that in the future, if one was looking for insight on a particular life topic, they could just click on that topic for specific related postings. I was having difficulty figuring out how to create those categories on this blog site, so after some research, I decided that perhaps I should set up a blog using a different reputable blog site. So I set up a new blog using a new site and was excited that I could figure out pretty easily how to categorize on this site, however after doing precisely just that and clicking 1 wrong option, I soon enough had that all messed up as well! :) I even employed the help of my teenage daughter who is pretty crafty with this sneaky little machine, however the 2 of us together messed the set up phase up to the point of no return! :) So, plan B - I called on my wonderful husband who agreed to sit with me one day in all of his spare time these days with a complex work project he is currently managing, however it doesn't seem that there is ever a good time to assign this task to him these days.
Then there's time management. I KNOW I am not the only mother on the face of planet Earth that cannot seemingly manage the never ending "to do" list in keeping up with being not only ordinary, but excelling in my jobs as wife, mother, teacher to my homeschooled children, volunteer in the class of my public school educated child, chef, maid, chauffuer, nurse, EMT, financial planner, veternarian, interior decorator, church ministries, personal ministries, author, etc. - I'm sure most of you can relate! As I have prayed about just HOW I would squeeze something else like a ministry into my already overscheduled life, I really felt like God told me that I could only "be a slave to so many masters" and that some things had to be laid down and that if I just set my alarm for 1 hr earlier each morning, He would give me that time to use for ministry. Both, concepts I have not "walked in victory" over! I have had great difficulty in laying down the things He has called me to lay down. Can anyone relate to how He calls you to lay down something (or to do something), you start to move forward in that direction, and then the enemy creeps in, in the form of doubt & fear, life circumstances begin to get in the way (or confirm the doubts), and before you even realize that you have fallen victim to this prey, a calling on your life has unraveled.
Well, and then there is the enemy of time management! I'm convinced that's what it is! There's never enough of it - time to manage! I've been pretty faithful to set my alarm an hour earlier each morning (most of the time), but the problem is that I have to actually get out of bed when it goes off! To my credit, 5:30 am is early, is it not?! Especially, when I have just gotten through most of the previous day's to do list and gone to bed at midnight the night before.
Then there is fear. How many of you know that anytime you are working for the Lord, in ANY area of ministry, (and by that I mean those of us actually called to ministry right down to the ministry of motherhood), that there is a bull's eye on the center or your back and you become the target of attack by a very real enemy who exists to seek, kill, and destroy any area that may minister to, encourage, or teach anyone how to "walk in victory" in precisely the areas of life he would have you to be a failure? He attacks the ministry (whatever it may be) and he attacks any area of life that would distract you from going forward, and begins to use the battle of your own heart and mind to instill fear and doubt until he has succeeded in putting the brakes on all that could have been accomplished if you had put on your armor and engaged in the battle and gone forward as called!
The anadote to these mentioned "set-backs?" And I am ministering to myself as much as I am to my readers. In whatever you have been called to in life, keep on keeping on! There's is no magical formulation. You have to just do it! Go forth! Keep being faithful! Even in my case of not succeeding in the set up of a blog (when the calling is...set up a blog), the solution is to just keep being faithful to write - daily! It doesn't matter if the blog site is "perfect" or if there isn't time on a particular day to write a full page. Write anyway. God will send wisdom or someone who can help me take the blog forward in the way He desires it to be set up and if I write one sentence or one page depending on the time I have on any given day or what's on my heart on any given day, if it's one word, that one word is intended to minister to someone! Think about it and ask yourself the same question in whatever manner it applies to you. Am I going to hinder what one word may speak into the life of one of God's children today because my categories aren't set up perfectly or because I don't have something more colorful and flowery to say today other than one word?! What is the one area of life you are being called to be faithful in and what is the one small hinderance that is limiting the very hands of God? How can you take one small step of faithfulness daily to unleash all that God has to be accomplished through your instrument?
In the area of time management...this is one category I will definitely focus on alot in this ministry (and when I get that category up and running, it will be so much easier for you the reader to say, "I need encouragement and wisdom in the area of time management. Oh, there it is, let me just click on that little time management category so I can begin to walk in victory in this area of my life!") Until then, however, how must I proceed? Just as I just mentioned above. I must continue to press on and be faithful regardless to share on time management regardless of where it may be found on my blog site! For now, let me encourage you to review your daily schedule with these priorities in place. God first, husband 2nd, children 3rd, ministry or career next (and yes, being a full time homemaker IS absolutely a career!) Now ask yourself, what slave(s) have I made master(s) in my life that are interfering in how I manage these priorities in my life? Does something need to be laid down? Is it ok to say, "No" to any area of life that God is not calling me to make a priority in this season? It doesn't necessarily mean, ever! It may very well be just for a season! And believe it or not, seasons come and seasons go. They are not "life sentences!" In this particular season, I am being called to focus on my husband and children and all of the areas of life that go along with being focused on those 2 priorities. Those are my 2 primary "ministries." This Walking in Victory Ministry is another area I am being called to in this season. So with those 3 areas at the forefront, what needs to be laid down to make those 3 areas my focus? With your focus in mind, it's much easier to say "no" to the things that would distract you from your mission in a particular season with joy and freedom rather than guilt and condemnation! Once you have determined these priorities, now ask God to show you how to arrange your schedule accordingly and ask him to show you where there may be small nuggets of time to do just what I suggested above - be faithful!
Good ole' faithful friend fear?! Well, you have GOT to go! You MUST flee! You are NOT welcome here! Consider yourself hereby, rebuked!! As crazy as that seems, it is necessary. You have to stand against the schemes of the devil! You literally have to put on your armor, engage in the battle and fight back! Definitely will be a future category and of great discussion on this blog because this is perhaps our biggest target to be conquered in the battle of Walking In Victory in ANY area of life!
For now, it's time to get the kids ready for school and it's my turn to volunteer in Belle's class in a short while so in keeping in line with my advice on priorities, time to switch gears! Likewise, it's time for you to do the same thing! So go put on your big girl (or big boy) panties and fulfill your callings in life today and ask God to help you to not be perfect but to just be faithful. Ask him to show you areas where you need to re-prioritize and what you need to say "no" to, to show you creative nuggets of time, and then friend, put your armor on and engage in the battle and fight, fight, fight and WALK IN VICTORY!!!
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Walking in Victory with the Gift of Laughter
Just a quick funny story that brought a lot of laughter to our morning yesterday and I pray it brings you the same gift of laughter...
As we were rushing through our morning routine to get Belle off to school and Brittany to a Biology Lab we were doing together with a friend, I had given Lola Grace a pad of paper and pen to doodle with to keep her content. About 15 minutes later just as we were ready to walk out the door to the bus stop, Brittany burst out laughing and said, "Mom, look at what Lola's done to her face!" To my shock & amazement, there was my little Lola Grace with a pen colored mustache drawn above her upper lip! She didn't just draw a simple mustache! She scribbled it in to make it look thick and actually drew the ends curled up and spiralled! If the mustache weren't enough, she had also given herself eyeliner, eyeshadow, and rings drawn on every finger - all with PEN!! I didn't know whether to respond in tears that I would have to take her to the bus stop looking the way she did or in laughter! So laughing is what we did...all the way to the bus stop!
As we were rushing through our morning routine to get Belle off to school and Brittany to a Biology Lab we were doing together with a friend, I had given Lola Grace a pad of paper and pen to doodle with to keep her content. About 15 minutes later just as we were ready to walk out the door to the bus stop, Brittany burst out laughing and said, "Mom, look at what Lola's done to her face!" To my shock & amazement, there was my little Lola Grace with a pen colored mustache drawn above her upper lip! She didn't just draw a simple mustache! She scribbled it in to make it look thick and actually drew the ends curled up and spiralled! If the mustache weren't enough, she had also given herself eyeliner, eyeshadow, and rings drawn on every finger - all with PEN!! I didn't know whether to respond in tears that I would have to take her to the bus stop looking the way she did or in laughter! So laughing is what we did...all the way to the bus stop!
Chicken & Marinara over Angel Hair
As a busy homeschooling mother, I have learned to "Walk In Victory...In the Kitchen!" I just sort of threw this all in the crock pot today just before lunchtime and by dinner, it seemed as if I had been in the kitchen all day with this easy, budget friendly meal that the entire family loved! Here's what I did and you can too!
I defrosted a package of Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast. I placed the Chicken Breast in the crock pot and covered them with a couple of cans of Basil & Garlic Seasoned Diced Tomatoes. I added a hodge podge of a little bit of this and a little bit of that until it tasted amazing! :) Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Basil, Oregano, Sugar, a splash of Chardonay and let it cook all afternoon (about 4-5 hours). Just before hubbie was scheduled to arrive home from work, I added a jar of store bought Spaghetti Sauce (I used Prego) to the Chicken & Marinara in the crock pot and boiled a box of Angel Hair Pasta. I served the Chicken & Marinara over the Angel Hair Pasta, served with a side of bagged Spring Mix Salad and wala...dinner practically cooked itself leaving us time to go to the library as a family for a special Bedtime Storytime for the kids!
I defrosted a package of Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast. I placed the Chicken Breast in the crock pot and covered them with a couple of cans of Basil & Garlic Seasoned Diced Tomatoes. I added a hodge podge of a little bit of this and a little bit of that until it tasted amazing! :) Salt, Pepper, Garlic, Basil, Oregano, Sugar, a splash of Chardonay and let it cook all afternoon (about 4-5 hours). Just before hubbie was scheduled to arrive home from work, I added a jar of store bought Spaghetti Sauce (I used Prego) to the Chicken & Marinara in the crock pot and boiled a box of Angel Hair Pasta. I served the Chicken & Marinara over the Angel Hair Pasta, served with a side of bagged Spring Mix Salad and wala...dinner practically cooked itself leaving us time to go to the library as a family for a special Bedtime Storytime for the kids!
"Walking In Victory, Ministries" is birthed! Part 1
Last Friday morning as I was going about my morning work, I had a revelation. The name for my ministry, audience, and purpose was revealed. "Walking In Victory Ministries" would be the name of the ministry, my audience would be anybody, of any age, in any season, desiring to grow or walk in victory in any area of life. My purpose would be to talk about topics and lessons I have learned along the way in any area of life that God would desire for us to "walk in victory!" Not that I am the expert in this area at all and I think that fact is precisely the reason this would be a burden on my heart, because it's an area of struggle for me. In any area of life I can remember, in any season from my teen years to my current season, I know the truth of God's word in my "know," yet walk in defeat, not on a daily basis, but honestly on a moment by moment basis. Most of the time, my mind is the battlefield, my heart is the casualty, and the outcome is defeat.
How many of you know what this kind of defeat looks like? The defeat in our own hearts and minds, where the enemy (Satan) uses our own worst enemy, (our thoughtlife, our own sinful and corrupt heart, our past experiences, our current circumstances, our failures, our weaknesses, etc., to cause us to stumble on a daily, and in my case, a moment by moment basis? And how many of you recognize this pattern of response, fear, anxiety, worry, anger, doubt, depression, discouragement, hopelessness, insecurity, etc? What is the dialouge in our minds? "I can't do it! I'll never get it right! I'll always be a failure! I'll never be good at ____! Look at him/her, they have it all together! My life is a mess! My marriage is a mess! My kids are a mess! My finances are a mess!" You know the dialouge! It may not look exactly like mine, but filled in with whatever your own individual circumstances hold, it's strikingly similar! How can I be so sure of that fact? Well, I certainly have enough experience in this area to recognize how the enemy operates and the result he's looking to accomplish!
Why does God sometimes allow these attacks? For our good and for His ultimate glory! To show us our continual dependence on Him alone! The enemy is right, we can't do it! We are fully human, hence, filled with sin and fully prone to wander! Apart from our Creator, our Heavenly Father, our Redeemer, our Healer, Rewarder, Restorer, we are completely depraved! Isn't that good news?! :) By now I'm sure you're all scratching your heads in complete confusion as to how you've been encouraged by my message that we can't do anything right, we're hopeless, we're depraved, etc! The truth of the matter is, when we come to this sobering realization, we come to know that there has to be, there IS One greater than we, and if we acknowledge our dependence upon Him, we CAN do it! His desire for our lives is not that we walk in defeat, but in full dependence on Him so that we CAN walk in the glorious victory and abundant life he has for all of us!
There is no sin, no issue in our lives that is shocking to God or too far out of reach for Him to help us walk in victory over! From the issues we look at as small potatoes, if we recognize as an issue at all, such as anxiety, fear, doubt, insecurity, discontentment, judging others, etc., to the mediocre struggles of yelling at our kids, nagging our spouse, unforgiveness and resentment toward someone who has harmed us in some way, to the "larger than large" issues we battle with lust, addiction, rebellion, etc. The truth is, we catagorize our sin. In fact, we don't even like to call it as it is and convince ourselves that "this is normal," "sure, I need to get control over this issue but it's not as bad as what "Johnny" down the street is doing," "well, if so and so didn't do that, I wouldn't have gotten so angry!"
The truth is, none of it, whether we are in full acceptance or full denial of an issue in our lives is a surprise to God, will not be used by Satan to cause us to continually stumble and walk in defeat, and turned back and be used by God to grow us, make us more dependent on Him, and give us a testimony, that can be used for His glory as we use the lessons learned in our own lives to minister into the lives of someone else.
That is my mission, the purpose of this ministry and whether it is used to minister to one person or multitudes, is up to God. I am just the vessel, the instrument, the tool, for some reason beyond my comprehension or abilities He has called for such a moment as this, to build the ultimate masterpiece of His kingdom!
How many of you know what this kind of defeat looks like? The defeat in our own hearts and minds, where the enemy (Satan) uses our own worst enemy, (our thoughtlife, our own sinful and corrupt heart, our past experiences, our current circumstances, our failures, our weaknesses, etc., to cause us to stumble on a daily, and in my case, a moment by moment basis? And how many of you recognize this pattern of response, fear, anxiety, worry, anger, doubt, depression, discouragement, hopelessness, insecurity, etc? What is the dialouge in our minds? "I can't do it! I'll never get it right! I'll always be a failure! I'll never be good at ____! Look at him/her, they have it all together! My life is a mess! My marriage is a mess! My kids are a mess! My finances are a mess!" You know the dialouge! It may not look exactly like mine, but filled in with whatever your own individual circumstances hold, it's strikingly similar! How can I be so sure of that fact? Well, I certainly have enough experience in this area to recognize how the enemy operates and the result he's looking to accomplish!
Why does God sometimes allow these attacks? For our good and for His ultimate glory! To show us our continual dependence on Him alone! The enemy is right, we can't do it! We are fully human, hence, filled with sin and fully prone to wander! Apart from our Creator, our Heavenly Father, our Redeemer, our Healer, Rewarder, Restorer, we are completely depraved! Isn't that good news?! :) By now I'm sure you're all scratching your heads in complete confusion as to how you've been encouraged by my message that we can't do anything right, we're hopeless, we're depraved, etc! The truth of the matter is, when we come to this sobering realization, we come to know that there has to be, there IS One greater than we, and if we acknowledge our dependence upon Him, we CAN do it! His desire for our lives is not that we walk in defeat, but in full dependence on Him so that we CAN walk in the glorious victory and abundant life he has for all of us!
There is no sin, no issue in our lives that is shocking to God or too far out of reach for Him to help us walk in victory over! From the issues we look at as small potatoes, if we recognize as an issue at all, such as anxiety, fear, doubt, insecurity, discontentment, judging others, etc., to the mediocre struggles of yelling at our kids, nagging our spouse, unforgiveness and resentment toward someone who has harmed us in some way, to the "larger than large" issues we battle with lust, addiction, rebellion, etc. The truth is, we catagorize our sin. In fact, we don't even like to call it as it is and convince ourselves that "this is normal," "sure, I need to get control over this issue but it's not as bad as what "Johnny" down the street is doing," "well, if so and so didn't do that, I wouldn't have gotten so angry!"
The truth is, none of it, whether we are in full acceptance or full denial of an issue in our lives is a surprise to God, will not be used by Satan to cause us to continually stumble and walk in defeat, and turned back and be used by God to grow us, make us more dependent on Him, and give us a testimony, that can be used for His glory as we use the lessons learned in our own lives to minister into the lives of someone else.
That is my mission, the purpose of this ministry and whether it is used to minister to one person or multitudes, is up to God. I am just the vessel, the instrument, the tool, for some reason beyond my comprehension or abilities He has called for such a moment as this, to build the ultimate masterpiece of His kingdom!
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Preparing To Launch
During a personal devotion time 5-6 years ago and in the midst of a storm in my life, a phrase came to mind. If you're like me, I'm sure phrases and thoughts come to mind every moment of each day, however this was profound and applicable to what I was going through during that difficult time in my life. Even more profound was that this particular phrase never seemed to leave my mind. It almost became not only a phrase that came to mind one day, but a burden that was impressed upon my heart.
Weeks passed and this burden impressed on my heart, faithfully remained and I did what I always did during that season of life. I consulted with a dear friend who had been devinely ordained and placed in my life during a season that I needed not only a friend but also a spiritual mentor. This friend knew and was walking very closely with me through the trial I was going through. When I talked with her about this "phrase," this impression on my heart, she very quickly and knowingly made a statement that has stuck with me to this very moment in time. She said, "Oh, that is the title of your future book!"
That was 5-6 years ago and I'm disappointed in myself to admit that it is still just an overwhelming impression and burden on my heart that I have been placing on the back burner in life as I fill my schedule with life. A busy, homeschooling, stay-at-home mother, always with a growing to do list, the days and schedule of "to do's" never seemed to allow for WRITING A BOOK!! I mean, who really wants to sign up for that job?! I was the girl overwhelmed in high school and college by writing a research or term paper. Did God realize that writing a book would be no easy task? That it would require a certain amount of focus and committment of my life? That I was already drowning in a sea of unlimited committments everyday? He absolutely knew that He had called an ill equipped one like me and He also made it very clear that it wasn't about me. I was simply an instrument in His sovereign hand and that He will guide each and every step, big and small and He will help me if I would just obey!
That's how I arrived here. It is very clear to me that God has indeed called me to this and I believe has added other books and ministries that will branch from that initial "phrase" He quietly whispered in that still, small voice I have learned to recognize through my journey. Hence, a blog ministry and here I am! I believe God is revealing to me little nuggets of time that He is giving me to walk in obedience to what he has required me to do. I may not have hours out of my busy days caring for 4 children to devote to writing a book, however I can find little 15 minute nuggets, an excerpt here, an excerpt there, and eventually each excerpt will compile into exactly what He wants to create. So, I'm beginning small. A blog, a way to publish little nuggets hopefully each day, that I pray will minister to your lives as I share the stories that fill mine.
Weeks passed and this burden impressed on my heart, faithfully remained and I did what I always did during that season of life. I consulted with a dear friend who had been devinely ordained and placed in my life during a season that I needed not only a friend but also a spiritual mentor. This friend knew and was walking very closely with me through the trial I was going through. When I talked with her about this "phrase," this impression on my heart, she very quickly and knowingly made a statement that has stuck with me to this very moment in time. She said, "Oh, that is the title of your future book!"
That was 5-6 years ago and I'm disappointed in myself to admit that it is still just an overwhelming impression and burden on my heart that I have been placing on the back burner in life as I fill my schedule with life. A busy, homeschooling, stay-at-home mother, always with a growing to do list, the days and schedule of "to do's" never seemed to allow for WRITING A BOOK!! I mean, who really wants to sign up for that job?! I was the girl overwhelmed in high school and college by writing a research or term paper. Did God realize that writing a book would be no easy task? That it would require a certain amount of focus and committment of my life? That I was already drowning in a sea of unlimited committments everyday? He absolutely knew that He had called an ill equipped one like me and He also made it very clear that it wasn't about me. I was simply an instrument in His sovereign hand and that He will guide each and every step, big and small and He will help me if I would just obey!
That's how I arrived here. It is very clear to me that God has indeed called me to this and I believe has added other books and ministries that will branch from that initial "phrase" He quietly whispered in that still, small voice I have learned to recognize through my journey. Hence, a blog ministry and here I am! I believe God is revealing to me little nuggets of time that He is giving me to walk in obedience to what he has required me to do. I may not have hours out of my busy days caring for 4 children to devote to writing a book, however I can find little 15 minute nuggets, an excerpt here, an excerpt there, and eventually each excerpt will compile into exactly what He wants to create. So, I'm beginning small. A blog, a way to publish little nuggets hopefully each day, that I pray will minister to your lives as I share the stories that fill mine.
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