Oh how I love church visiting, let me count the ways - just kidding! I mean, don't get me wrong, the perks, free guest gifts, visitor receptions, complimentary cups of Joe and bagel at each new Welcome Center is all very appealing, however, I actually loathe the whole ordeal when either due to relocation or those changes of seasons in life when God begins to stir up the place where you just grew comfortable and calls you to a new thing for His purposes! However, you know, as I look back on a stroll down memory lane at the story of my life and progression of my relationship with the Lord over 20+ years now, each time He moves, in turn MOVING me (often very literally), I end up later with the advantage of hindsight looking back at the journey as a time of deepening in my own personal relationship, committment, pursuit, etc., with Him, and it ALWAYS ends up fulfilling a vision for His ultimate purposes way beyond me.
So let's participate in a moment of Monday morning quarterback if you will and take a stroll down memory lane at the progression and journey of my life, let's say, oh, just over the past several years. For those of you who personally know my stories, we only have to look at the last several years to compile an entire book of adventures! :) Ok, here we go, let's just do an overview of this part because I cannot wait to move on to the point, which by the way, is not MY spiritual progression and journey!
So in a nutshell, in 2003 God leads us to be part of a growing, thriving ministry of churches where relationships were a key part of that journey during a season of life when God knew exactly what He was doing - growing us "academically" in the Word with solid teaching, helping us break out of comfort zones in meaningful worship, and in His loving Sovereignty placing relationships in our lives at just the right time when we were going through one of the most difficult trials of our life, fighting for custody, visitation, and any relationship whatsoever with my son Zachary, who had just been wrongly ripped from my arms at the tender age of 9 years old and was entirely being unjustly and fully alienated from our lives. Without those relationships with those that to this day are dear to us, in a very special and significant way, coming alongside us, supporting, praying, caring, holding fundraisers for the cause of restoring our family as we neared a 6 digit figure in legal expenses, I honestly cannot imagine how we would have survived some of those darkest moments. They came on the days I grieved so badly that I could not lift my head or be motivated out of bed as I longed for a child who I wasn't allowed to even hear his voice for 22 long months at one point (8 years altogether), to comfort me, pray for me, and as I think back right now in this very moment and sorta chuckle, on a few occassions, they even just sat there and let me scream at them (including an occassional bleep here and a bleep there) all of my frustrations with why the Lord would allow this suffering. They held my arms up in worship (very literally) on the days when I didn't "feel" like worshipping, they cared for my younger children on the days where I literally couldn't stop crying long enough to pull it together to care for them, they brought meals, cleaned my home, homeschooled my children, allowing them to eventually attend a Christian school owned by one of them for free or whatever we could afford as the Lord laid it on their heart, you name it, they would even ride along with me on a 2+ hour excursion to Richmond from Virginia Beach when I was on the brink of losing my mind to just sit in the parking lot at my son's school and watch him come out of the school at dismissal just so I could get a glance of him, only to drive all the way 2+ hours back, sometimes ending up in another state with me on the way home because in my despair I had missed my exit! :) They didn't complain. They just continued to love me and laugh with me and cry with me, encourage me, mentor me, etc.
That brings us to 2006, Harry lost his job, coincidentally in working side jobs to continue coming up with the extorbatant legal expenses, and "breaching" his "contract" for his position that stated he could not work a second job and that led us to a job, yep, you guessed it, fate wins, right back to Richmond, 7 miles from my son!! We sort of transferred to a sister church within that same ministry we were part of for about a year, and really developed some wonderful relationships there that served a very specific purpose during that season of our lives, but for whatever reason, the Lord stirred us and led us to something new. It was time to grow in other areas of our spiritual journeys and it was an extremely difficult decision. It's difficult to leave a body who has done nothing wrong to you and have only tried to help you but because they understood how God calls some to move and plants others, they released us sadly yet full of faith and excitement for what God had next for us. Hence, to the place we called our church home for 2 years. The Lord specifically impressed on my heart the 2nd time we visited there that we were there for a season of healing. And I didn't know what that meant at that point and time, however I later came to understand it and I believe it was accomplished and we were provided with just the right relationships that we needed during that season of Zachary re-entering our home, unfortunately as a very troubled teenager, down a very wrong path of self destruction, as he had learned to cope with the pain of being seperated from his mother all those years through all the wrong methods. During that extremely difficult season on an entirely different level from anything we had ever experienced, we were surrounded with the exact relationships we needed who were comfortable coming alongside us through some EXTREMELY "UGLY" days and nights.
Due to the economic recession, Harry was downsized from his company and after 4-5 months of job searching, we were clearly being led to a job that would lead us to the DC/MD metropolitan area. Although we enjoyed living in that area and all that it had to offer, and experienced some wonderful experiences there, it came with some new difficulties through my husband's new employer and the direct negative impact that had on our marriage and family. I've talked about this previously in other posts. However, again through the church we were involved in there, we learned to serve, our giftings were discovered, and ministries were developed.
And that brings us to this point. THANK GOD my husband finally was terminated from a company that it was clear it would NEVER work out with, due to the fact that in order to excel in a career with that company, Harry would need to compromise in some non-negotiable areas that had potential not only to destroy our marriage and family, but his very own spiritual journey. As a quick sidenote, I think I would be remiss if I didn't make this point right here - do not be misled, NONE of us, no matter where we are in our spiritual journeys, are EVER IMMUNE from being led astray or being inticed by the world, especially when it is being intentionally used as a deadly weapon to attack and conquer your very soul from all sides! For what is it worth if you gain the whole world, yet loose your soul?
So here we are a few months later, back to where we started our journey. Does that mean we were wrong to go to MD since it was only for a year and we seemingly went in one big circle? Absolutely not!! We absolutely HAD to go on that journey for a year. It was essential at that time in our lives for lots of reasons, safety of our family in an extremely volitle situation that existed at the time being reason #1, sin issues needing to be attacked head on being another vital issue, learning to be content and more importantly being content in a simpler way of life, another very valuable lesson, learning to lean on one another in our marriage and family during a year when we were very isolated from deep relationships, growing in our giftings, etc. I could make a list a mile long. Our journeys are never wasted lessons!
But we want to be careful in returning to be discerning about where the Lord has us. Are we to pick right back up in life where we left off a little over a year ago? Is the Lord doing a new thing? Where do we belong here? What does this new season look like? All the questions it is absolutely wise to consider, pray about and discern in each new season of life and all of those in between. Of course it's COMFORTABLE to just pick up where we left off - especially relationally! But is that the Lord's will? I'm not so sure. I know that there's a stirring in not only my heart, but more importantly in the heart of my husband and leader that unite us on that front. That's a big red flag! And I certainly know that our life in Richmond now, looks much different than what it looked like a year ago, demographically, relationally, the ages, stages, and seasons of our children, one we'll look at more specifically in a moment because it's part of the point I'm attempting to make in my long winded way of doing things! :) You love it - you know you do!! :) Everything, right down to the TYPE of company my husband is working for (a minority contractor - a christian company - christian company and construction industry? Now there's a real hum-dinger! :) The manner in which we are chosing to educate our children in this season, launching this very ministry, you name it, most everything in our lives as we knew it, looks different. So why should we be surprised that church would look different?! I mean, I've tried my best to reason with God on this one - "you know God, there's so much change in our lives right now, can't we just leave church alone for now?!" :)
I don't know if I'm gonna get my way on this one! I mean, if it was my husband I was negotiating with, I'd totally have this battle in the bag! :) But with God, I don't always get MY WAY, however I DO ALWAYS get THE BEST WAY!! So, here I am minding my own business, planning to put away Christmas decorations and get our home back in order from Christmas and company yesterday, with plans to visit the first church on our list the next day, and a lightbulb turns on in my husband's head, "Hey let's try The ROC tonight!" HUH???!!! Pause, shock factor, what??!! Let me feel your head, you MUST have a fever!! :) Just kidding! I actually have visited the center in the past for an entirely different purpose. One of the 150+ ministries The ROC offers are dicipleship homes for all different sorts of circumstances, one of such circumstances being for young men EXACTLY like my son, who are on a very destructive path in life, hence the precise reason upon a recommendation from our Pastor at the time, Zach and I attended a service one evening about a year ago to attend an intake appointment with a Pastor at the end of the service, however Zach was unwilling to make the committment to enter the program on any level.
The ROC stands for Richmond Outreach Center, however it is a full blown ministry offering from what I can gather in my analytical brain and research, 150+ different ministries all over the city and beyond! Due to the fact that a large percentage of this ministry's congregation attends the Spanish service on Sunday mornings (La Roca), regular "Sunday Morning Church" is held on Saturday nights and is called, "6 O'Clock ROC!"
5:30 pm, Saturday, 1/7/12, we are directed into the parking lot by Richmond Police due to the mass volume of traffic flowing into that parking lot on Saturday nights! That alone prepared my heart for something amazing! We exit our vehicle, and as I begin to nag at my husband in fear and anxiety, however with an underlying peace that we were exactly where we were suppose to be on this Saturday night, with fear based questions, did you lock the doors, do you have the keys, should I bring my purse, ok you hold this child's hand and I'll hold this child's hand and whatever you do, do not loose grip of the child's hand that has been assigned to you, and I began to "warn" him that I had visited there once and although I personally LOVED what I experienced there, that it was definitely a different way of doing church than what he has been accustomed to and typical Harry, that just excited him even more! We park and begin to walk toward the church, a.k.a. what they call "The Big House!" Don't you just LOVE it??!!
As we're walking through this ginormous parking lot busting at the seams with more cars than I can begin to calculate, we begin to see Whatsoever Kids Buses pulling in! These buses are retired school buses, manned by a men's ministry, "Soulwinning Soilders" that take these buses into the most poverty and crime stricken neighborhoods of Richmond, where drugs, gangs, guns, prostitution, you name it, run rampant, for the purpose of transporting hurting and eager for someone to show them the love of Christ children from toddlers to teens to and from what they call at The ROC, Saturday School (I guess since it's on Saturday rather than the traditional Sunday School)! I was absolutely torn up before I even entered the building in overwhelmedness as I witnessed bus after bus completely FULL, not ONE EMPTY SEAT with kids being transported to church! The ROC Ministry Members were actively engaging these kids, loving on them, playing games with them, making them laugh, preaching truth to them, it was an amazing sight to see! From what I read in further research later, they actually send these children home each night with a bagged lunch!
We pass a police officer at the doors for security, and are greeted by more Soulwinning Soldiers in leather jackets than we could possibly acknowledge! What was this joy in the faces and demeanors of these people we were noticing as we entered the building. This definitely was a "different" type of church service and a "different" type of congregation! Ok, we've entered The Big House, now where do we go? Well, there's a Welcome Center straight ahead, let's start there. Wow! That was a phenomenal welcome center experience. Let's keep going. Eeeks, that's right, I have to leave my kids in Saturday church with all the other kids coming in on buses for Saturday church. Oops, didn't think about that. Well, actually I did, it was a major concern I had, which was precisely the reason my husband had already done his homework prior to and reassured me he had absolutely NO concerns in leaving HIS daughters too in the care of these people. Ok, then, well, I guess I'm suppose to trust in my husband's leading so, give mommy a kiss, it looks like you're going to have a great time here, it looks like your teachers are hugging and loving on the other kids and the kids look like they are full of joy being here, security seems to be well attended to, you're gonna have a story, do a craft, sing some songs, have a snack, and I'll be back in an hour but if you need me, tell your teacher and they will put your number really big on the screen in Big Church and I'll come right back for you! :)
Off to the Big House Auditorium we go. Looks more like a sporting arena! No church pews here! Just stadium type seating and a full house at that - I'm guessing probably a couple thousand people, easily! We go to find some seats and being the ADHD people we are, we have to get up pretty close. Next big impression, an entire row of chairs was marked off as "Reserved for Diciples of Christ," (I think that's what the signs said). I don't exactly remember the wordage, but what I do remember was that these seast were reserved and occupied by a group of African American teenage to young adult men. 3 of them stood up as they noticed we were looking for a seat and took the reserved signs off and gave up their seats for us - they insisted! Wow!
Who's Joe cool coming on stage in sunglasses at 6:00 at night?! Oh, that's Pastor Geronimo (or as they call him, Pastor G!! :) Don't worry, that was just to show us the video of the church New Year's Eve party held the week prior - he took off his shades as he preached the Word later! :)
Oh boy, time to worship!! Ok, now who's Ms. Rock Star with the American Idol voice leading worship?! That's Pastor G's wife??!! Hmmm, this song sounds familiar, wait a minute, isn't this a Beatles song??!! But I KNOW those are NOT Beatles lyrics!! :) Wow! The Roc, ROCKS!! Harry nudges me and says with a chuckle, "hey, check out the choir and can you imagine being on THAT worship team (knowing that I LOVE worship and usually serve on the worship team)! Now whatever would make him think that I would fit in??!! :) Ok, so I have been known to enjoy gettin my worship on - guess you could even call me a little charasmatic!! :) Ok, ok, you're right, I'd totally be gettin my funk on with that choir, in fact, can I go up there right now? They look like they are having so much fun!! :)
This church really knows how to celebrate! Maybe they have MUCH to celebrate!! Maybe that's the joy unspeakable I've heard of! Now it's time to get serious, a slow song...every hair on my body (and I'm a brunette - VERY HAIRY!!) is raised and the Holy Spirit is in The Big House!! Look at these teen boys next to me worshipping and taking solace in the Lord, arms around one another united as a brotherhood, a network of support for one another! I'm guessing by a few clues I picked up on that I'm aware of only due to my research in attempting to get my own son in the program, that they were likely gang members or otherwise on a very destructive path and entered a Dicipleship Home and look at them now! The one sitting next to me asks me, "Are you new here? Really? Welcome! How do you like it so far? Well, it sure is great to have you with us tonight. I hope you'll come back!" This precious conversation took place just before he caused me to burst into tears yet again, not because he did anything wrong to me. It's just that as he participated in the offering, I noticed out of the corner of my intrigue with this young man that he had placed what was likely a huge sacrifice to him, probably the only dollar bill he had in the offering bag. Whew! Absolutely unbelievable!! I'm changed and we haven't even gotten to the message yet! Maybe that's why it says, "Changing Lives and Making Life Changers" on the sign!!
A few testimonies shared...ok, ok does anyone have a BOX of tissues and/or suggestions on just HOW it is that I am gonna pull it together?? Oh my goodness, I'm a total mess!! :) I mean, that baby on stage right now should not be here! But he is! Look at him! He was scheduled to be aborted! But for the Lord using a Dicipleship Home that took in his unwed, teenage, mother and provided a safe haven for her throughout her pregnancy and now Pastor G recently performed the marriage ceremony in this church for her and that man up there and they are on fire for the Lord and that baby is being raised in a wonderful christian, loving home!! Hey, I warned you, you would need an entire BOX of tissue!! :)
Time for Pastor G's message! Wow, this guy has a unique gifting and is being used of the Lord! Alter call...officially and entirely...BLOWN AWAY!! I look up at my husband, who in his big stature has a quivering lower lip as literally MASSES of every age, race, and socio-economic status flock the alters for prayer!! No more beautiful and breath-taking a scene for the believer than to witness lives being touched, healed, and transformed!
We are invited to a new-comers reception. First let me get my children. I've been totally broke out in hives from anxiety since I dropped them off. I am totally not even kidding! :) In fact, that is my biggest challenge in running as fast as I can TO be part of what this church is doing. How kind of my loving father who knows just how I am fearfully and wonderfully made and knows the fears I have with my children and the past wounds and scars that I carry that contribute to how tight my grip is on their very lives to have me met in the children's wing by a Soulwinning Soilder assigned as one of the many security volunteers for that particular hallway who asks my child's name and informs me that he has Lola Grace's security card because I left it where I had registered her and he knew it would be very difficult for me to pick her up with out it and he remembered who I was (of the hundreds of people he greeted and directed) and re-assured me of how important the children are to The Roc and just how seriously they HAVE to take security there due to the nature of their very ministry. Wow, sir, you have no idea just how timely and important this conversation was to me and exactly what I needed to feel comfortable here. That was my ONLY concern and it had been put to death!
New-comer's reception - wow, totally overwhelming the literature I can pick up here! There is every possible thing available to me here and to anyone that we could possibly ever need to walk in victory in this journey called life and lead others to do the same! Parenting classes, Bible 101 classes, teen topical classes, marriage ministry, breaking free ministry for those struggling with addicition, homeless ministry, food pantry, breaking generational curses class (sign me up for that one), prison ministry (wait, prison visitation ministry?) Here we go....first time I've published this news...sign...MY SON...up for that one!!
Yep, it's not a typo...it's transparency...and it's real...and it's relevant to someone...for the past 4 weeks, I have been taking calls and visiting MY SON behind bars obviously due to a bad choice made on his part and consequences thereof. You may be shocked! A white, christian, middle class, professional, college educated family, pursuing ministry visiting not someone else's child through a church prison ministry, but their very own child behind bars??!! I'm not shocked at all! In fact, I totally saw it coming not only recently with the path he was on, but predicted it 10 years ago as I pleaded with a corrupt judicial system and family fulfilling selfish desires and ambitions, that this was exactly Zachary's future should what was happening continue. The Lord's has been preparing me for many years for precisely this moment, and it's far from complete. I still believe, and I pray to God I am wrong on this, that the future is bleak and far uglier yet to come, however I KNOW, that I know, that I know, there is a beautiful story being written with an amazing and powerful testimony that will change lives and I don't believe any of this is coincidence - in fact, I can almost sit back and see the steps being ordered just perfectly according to the father's sovereign plan!
Fast forward to Sunday morning. Do you still wanna visit that "other" church on our list? Sure, why not? Well to be fair, after our experience last night, ANYTHING would have fallen short of what WE are being led to in this particular season. I want to make sure that I stress that point. It's not for everyone, I'm certainly NOT advocating for any particular church or ministry, it's just something we're praying about and discerning, certainly not having made any decisions just yet about where are being led for a specific purpose. My intention is not to offend anyone or degrade any church or class of people in any way whatsoever! Please hear my heart on this...my intention is to convey what the Lord has placed a burden on my heart for, so much so that I barely exited the church doors this morning before I told my husband, "I HAVE to go home right away and blog!!" This experience just soooo goes along with the theme of what my very own eyes are being opened to in this particular season.
Let me see if I can adequately describe my well, I'll be honest with you, frustration in church this morning. Again, not intended to offend, but intended to help us all to Walk In Victory in this area. Hmmm...ugh...ok, so, I'm certainly not here to church bash, so let's just say, this was a Pentecostal church we visited. Ok, so for those of us that have no idea what that means, not always, but in general, what does it mean exactly to be pentecostal? Well, it's what I guess I have been much of my life. Let's skip past the statements of faith and core beliefs for the purposes of this post and move onto this...ok, you are suppose to be Pentecostal...you're suppose to be "Holy Rollers," "Jesus Freaks!" Where's the Holy and where's the rollin? I mean in the church I grew up in, 80 year old women did cartwheels for Jesus down the isles and if you were real blessed, you'd be slain in the spirit after a particular 80 year old came over and bopped you on the head in the name of Jesus!! :) I certainly didn't see any "Jesus Freaks" as the DC Talk song goes! Nope, they were all at The Roc last night!! :) Just kidding! Actually I know quite a few Jesus Freaks at quite a few churches I've been privleged to be part of on a Sunday morning.
Just sayin....just an observation, an impression, ugh...ok, God you can stop this anytime now...what?! You're not gonna?! You're totally gonna make me say it aren't you?! Why me Lord? I mean you totally know I'm completely comfortable keeping to myself, staying in the safe haven of my home, minding my own beeswax, not bothering anyone, just being an average housewife, barely keeping my head above water in that alone each day. I mean, can't I share a recipe or somethin??!! :) No??!! How bout a funny story? You know you have a sense of humor God...how bout a quick joke, cut right to the chase...ok, so this guy walks in this bar... Ugh! Don't you know I'm a peacemaker? I don't ruffle feathers! I know some people who are totally comfortable ruffling feathers...would you like me to pass along this message to them??!! :)
Well, I tried everything and the Big Guy upstairs isn't lettin me off the hook so fine, I'll just say it, so here goes, alright, alright already...fine...so, it was just another typical white, upper middle class, pretty, country club church!! There are you happy?! I said it! I hope you're totally happy with yourself now that I am totally gonna loose all my white middle class friends and probably have to go into seclusion or something! No better yet, I'll probably become the face on someone's voo doo doll as they jab needles in all my body parts and curse me! Like seriously, don't I have enough problems right now??!! Like I really needed to stir up this mess! :) Boy I bet that devil's havin one heck of a par-tay right about now knowing this very moment is the beginning of my demise!! :)
Ok, enough joking, seriously, here's the application part of this loooong (but sooo worth the read) blog... :) Friends, I'm totally guilty of being that person! And the truth of the matter, what I believe the Lord would want us to open our eyes to, is that the very people he loves, desires to be in intimate relationship with, the very people he was beaten and died for are those that will NEVER feel comfortable walking into our white, middle class, country club churches! Let's face it, the truth of the matter and we're ALL guilty, is as the Casting Crowns song describes, that if that homeless man walked into our pretty churches, we'd be afraid he'd get dirt on the carpet, if that gang member who has tried everything else and nothing has worked decided to walk through the doors of the church across the street because he's tried everything else, maybe this church thing has the answers he needs, and hey, you know what, if they don't, he's truly tried everything to numb the pain and all that's left is to go home and hold a gun to his head...what if that guy walked through the doors? What would YOU do? We'd all likely go pick up our children from the nursery asap!
I guess now, that my very own child, could quite possibly be that exact person, my eyes have been opened. So do we need church, and if so where and why? The answer to the first part of that question is a resounding, YES!! It's absolutely vital to our souls and our spiritual journeys! Life is hard! We certainly can't go it alone! We HAVE to surround ourselves with positive influences and like minded people. We have to continually be educated and reminded by hearing the Word and applying it to our lives to truly walk in victory. We MUST take our hands out of our pockets and be awestruck in wonder and worship whole heartedly before the living God! This is God we're worshipping people! Shameful what this God has accomplished in my life, on my behalf, in my sin and selfishness, none of which I have ever deserved, to think about where I would be without Him, an unwed, teenage mom, from a family of generational curses and alcoholism, and in the face of tragic circumstances should be an un-college educated, unmarried, drug addicted alcoholic, poverty stricken with children in foster care and a criminal record, a statistic, with no hope, and reflect on how I too have approached the throne of worship, like seriously, I should be ashamed of myself! But there is no condemnation in Christ, therefore I do not have to be ashamed, but shame on me if I'm aware of it now and remain unchanged, comfortable, prideful, angry that I didn't get my own way about something, as if I should be spared of anything let alone trial or suffering.
What's holding you back? If you're feeling butterflies in your tummy right now and you're breathing real fast, you KNOW this is for YOU!! :) So really, no matter what church you go to and for those of you who don't, why aren't you? Why are you holding back? Too busy? You work hard all week and should be allowed to enjoy your weekends? You may not be able to do some of the things you're doing anymore? What if you gained something far more valuable? Are those things TRULY satisfying your life and making you whole and complete? Are you afraid? Do you have too much pride? Have you been hurt? Maybe you've been hurt BY the church?! Maybe that's because you've gone to the "wrong" church. Believe it or not, all churches are not created equal. Believe it or not, all churches do not necessarily preach the truth. And maybe it's not that you were at the wrong church but maybe it's more that the church is made up of people, and people are human, and humans are not perfect and therefore, the "perfect" church does not exist. Maybe you have grown to depend TOO much on those people and regardless of where you find them, church included, PEOPLE will ALWAYS fail you and that is exactly why you need the Lord! He NEVER fails. He will never leave or forsake you. His mercies are new for YOU each and every morning.
Pray that the Lord will lead you to exactly where He would have you. There are LOTS of phenomenal churches and ministries doing amazing things! One size does not fit all and sometimes the size fits for a season and then we outgrow it and we are stretched out of our comfort zones and that's a good thing! Parents - get your kids in church! It's vital! I'm here to tell you on this side of a very wayward child that even WITH the church, it's the hardest job on earth. You cannot do it alone! And I was aware but not truly aware of just how bad it is out there until recently releasing all of my children to the public school system that even in our "country club" schools, our children are faced with tremendous attacks, temptations, and challenges every single day! They absolutely need the Lord's help and so do you in raising them. And take it from me personally, even then, there are no guarantees. We cannot "save" our children! Only the Lord can do that! We are called to do everything we can possibly do and then you trust Him to do the rest and his Word promises this: train your child up in the way of the Lord for when he grows old he WILL NOT depart from it. It doesn't say, there's a 50/50 chance, it says he will not depart. A promise I personally, especially as I visit the child I once carried in my womb behind a glass window. I can't physically touch him, hug him, I can barely break through the anger and hatred he holds each time I see him enough to get through to him. Only the Lord can do what needs to be done for Zachary and he truly needs an absolute miracle. There are conversations, in fact, most conversations, well really ALL conversations with him that would cause ANY mother to walk away completely emotionally and spiritually exhausted and out of hope. But that's just the thing, thank God, THANK GOD, I have hope because without it, without standing on hope and trust and God's promises, I truly could not survive times like these in my life. To be honest, I don't know HOW people face the daily challenges and trials in this life without Him!
It's because I FULLY and UNCONDITIONALLY TRUST THE LORD that I have hope and it's how He uses stories like the following that encourage me daily that I can STILL TRUST HIM!! If you want to be encouraged and blessed, take the time to click on the links on the following 2 blog postings for testimonies of hope! Then go hug and kiss your children. Tell them you love them. I can tell you from experience that God forbid should you ever have to go 8 years without being able to do so, you'll wish you did; if you ever want to but there's shatter proof glass and bars preventing you from doing so, you'll wish you had done it more often; and God, oh God, please spare us, should you ever have to do it for eternity like my parents do everyday, you'd give everything on earth to do so one more time....
